On its website yesterday, Fox News published a groundbreaking report that the cold temperatures accompanying this week's polar vortex might cause an uptick in heart attacks. Since, y'know, that bitter 70-degree weather is hell on the ol' ticker.

The report, titled "The Polar Vortex Is Back: How It May Affect Your Health," quotes Ohio cardiologist Dr. David Frid as saying the colder weather makes your blood vessels constrict, leading to an increased risk of heart attack. The report even mentions that a modest two degree drop in temperatures could cause an extra 200 heart attacks over the next month, because that 60-year love affair with bacon sure as hell didn't do it.

Yesterday's low in Chicago reached 56 degrees, while the low in Minneapolis fell to a bone-chilling 57 degrees.

A Google News search for articles mentioning ["polar vortex" + "cold" + "died"] within the last week brought up four results — none of which were relevant — while a search for ["Fox News" + "desperate"] over the same period brought up more than 2,000.

[Top image via the AP, depicting this week's polar vortex, probably.]