Washington Post Reporter Publishes a Hilariously Strange Snow Rant

Washington Post reporter Martin Weil posted an article (?) on Sunday titled "Snow tonight the Weather Service says And don't be surprised by 5 inches," which is pretty much the word salad you'd expect with a headline like that.

Speaking of the predicted 3-5" of "accumulatikon" in Washington D.C. last night, Weil says:

That is for the District and the close in suburbs. No doubt disparities will be observed. On one street in Fairfax County perhaps the full five inches will fall. On a road in Montgomery, for dimly understood reasons, perhaps it will be less than three. Maybe there won't be any.

And it gets better:

The likelihood of precipitation was not a firm, full 100 per cent. It was merely "near 100 per cent."

How near? Perhaps 99 per cent. Or, on the other hand, perhaps 96.5.

And note that the forecast did not place the probability of SNOW at 100 percent, or "near" 100 percent.

Only of precipitation. Of an unspecified sort.

Maybe it will rain.

Unlimber the umbrellas. .

Oh.

Out of the six articles Weil wrote this weekend, one was the above snow...rant?, and the remaining five were about people dying: "man stabbed;" "2 men fatally shot;" "motorcyclist killed;" and two about a lethal house fire.

Don't worry, Martin. Spring is on its way.

[Image via AP]